thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
