you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
