i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
