Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
