wake up i wanna do it froggy style
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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