did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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