i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
