My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
