plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
