Just fell off a train. Bad.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
