there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
