WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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