please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
