Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
