after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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