so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
