Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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