I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
