Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Panties = found
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