are you still at the devil's house?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
