I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
