she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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