Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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