there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
