Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
