told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
