so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
