I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
