Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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