he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize