I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
