Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
