KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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