you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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