i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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