Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
