Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
