I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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