I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
