Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
