i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
