Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
