Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
