i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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