so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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