make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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