if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
