That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
