plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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