It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm getting married
To pizza
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
