it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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