What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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