is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I will be naked everywhere
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
