How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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